Treats

If we know what makes our horse happy and we go out of our way to do it, then why is it a challenge to do those things in our relationship? I am assuming that we give our horses treats, grooming, nutritious feed and a dry place to sleep in order to create a bond, so that we get our needs met from the horse. What my horse can do for me, is be obedient on trail rides, cattle drives, competitions and whatever else I might want to do. This is probably not in her mind, just mine. It makes me feel good to give her a graham cracker or carrot after she has performed well. It satisfies something in me. It makes me feel fulfilled in some small way to scratch her where she likes it and take her out into the fresh grass.

I feel the same about relationships with people. It makes me feel good to cook my beloved's favorite food, or massage  his calves after a busy day or send a card to let him know I am thinking of him. These are like giving our horse treats.

I told a man I dated, that I really wanted to plan on doing something with him on Friday nights. It didnt matter what - a movie, a hike, a dinner, anything at all. I just wanted to know he would make time for me. He couldnt do it. Every week was a different reason why. When I pushed him on it, he said, " I dont want to. I used to do the Monday through Friday thing and I dont now." What he was saying is that, "I know you want something and I could give it but I dont want to. Your needs are not important to me." It would have been such a treat for me to have him available on those evenings. I would have wanted to treat him in return. Instead it became a point of contention instead of a place of bonding. Would we withhold food and water from our horse and expect him to perform for us?

Everyone likes to be treated. It makes us feel special in our lover's eyes. It makes us feel appreciated and nurtured. Give your mate the same attention you give your horse and watch the transformation in your relationship.