Crossing water

I went on a cattle drive last Sunday. It was a lot of fun. I had been anticipating having my own horse and going on a ride like this for years. It all came together inspite of trailering issues, pouring rain and a hectic work scheduling conflict. My horse, Lakota, had recently gotten over her fear of crossing water, or so I thought. Not ten minutes into the ride, she refused to cross a boggy stream. I couldn't believe it, well yes, I could. Are you kidding me? Everyone was already kidding me about having a mare and on top of that - a paint. all the cows and other horses were crossing the far pasture and now she panicked. She was equally afraid of the water and mud as she was of being left by the herd. She began to buck and rear up. This was not the time to train. I got off and led her across the water. Of course, in her hurry, she knocked me in the mud and I was soaked but we were across. I jumped back on and off we went.

I have had people tell me, "You should have jabbed her with spurs, you should have done this or that." We could have had a wreck and both gotten hurt. She was scared. You can't yell at a child and demand they stop being afraid of the dark. Fear is fear. I need to do more homework and get her over her fear in a safe place where neither of us gets injured. There is a time and place for everything.

If you are in a relationship and one of you shares a fear, you cant demand that that person get over it. Feeling safe emotionally and physically comes with consistency. Trust is built when a safe outcome can be expected over and over. I was upset at Lakota that day for sure but I did my best to get over it quickly. We've worked on the water issue. Repetition, repetition, repetition. Obviously, if she is still scared, then I have more work to do. There is no place for anger in training or communication.

If I had a lover that was afraid of abandonment because of something in his past, I would do my best to understand and be consistent. Consistency builds trust. On the flip side, I would expect him to look at at his fear and work with it on his end,also. Being willing to share our fears and conquering our fears together only makes us stronger and deepens our intimacy. Find the right time and the right place to heal these old wounds. I'm off to work on water with Lakota.