Sale Day

I think the most difficult day in the life of a horse owner can be the day that you decide to give up your mount. Of course, it depends on how attached you are and how much effort you have made to make the partnership work. It is similar to a relationship break up. At the end, it doesn't matter who did what; it just isn’t working for either of you. This is the day you decide to send him on down the road.

You think back on the day you brought him home. You were filled with joy, anticipation, dreams of the future together – your horse, that is. Everything was magical at the beginning. He was powerful, courageous, just gorgeous and you were so proud. You were a match made in heaven. After awhile things started going south. You couldn’t communicate. He wouldn’t listen. You didn’t feel that he was paying attention to you. You started getting louder or harsher. He became more rebellious and irritated. Eventually you wondered what you ever saw in him in the first place. Stupid Neanderthal. Someone else comes along that sees what you saw once and you hand over the reins and say “good riddance.”

If only it was that simple. Right?

I have had a couple horses that I had to sell and the rest lived out long healthy lives with us for over 25 years. The two I had to sell really broke my heart. Well one anyway. One was just mean and lazy and I should have seen that coming. I thought it was so great that he was so calm…until he tried to buck me off every time I asked him to show some effort. The other was a thoroughbred off the race track, London Breeze. A painting of him still hangs over my dining room table. My gosh, I loved that gelding. Opposite, oh yes. He would totally come unglued at the slightest noise or gum wrapper on the ground and run away with me, bucking all the while. I worked with him for four years, taking him from trainer to trainer. All I got from that was broken bones, hematomas and bruises. London could just not get his fear under control. His tendency to run and buck outweighed all my good intentions and exertion.

My ex-husband used to say, “I can’t believe you still love that horse. If I ever broke a bone of yours, you’d have sent me packing a long time ago.” It was so true.

Sometimes there is something about our partner that is detrimental to the relationship that we think we can fix, overlook or get used to at the beginning. Occasionally it is something that we don’t even see. I make the analogy between people running away – like getting in their cars and refusing to communicate and bucking – “seeing” other people on the side. That is a tendency that makes a real partnership impossible. You can only put up with running and bucking so long before you have to send that horse packing. 

There is a time when you must decide how willing are you to spend more time trying to change a behavior. Is it a habit you can live with or not? Are you going to invest more energy into altering this pattern or accept that horse/person as is? Where do you see yourself with this partnership in the long run? How pleasurable will it be? Some people and horses have habits and predispositions that you will never change.

Eventually, you have had enough pain and heartache that you may decide that what is best for your horse is a new owner. As owners, often we try too many videos, trainers, books and tack before realizing we are just not the right match. Let him go with peace and ease.

All your dreams may appear dashed for a short time until you find a new steed that is perfect for you. Once more, you mount up, feel the wind in your hair, fly across open fields and wind along wooded trails. You will always love the horse you sent away and realize they, too, are happier in their new life.