Enthusiasm

Last night I couldn't wait to get to the barn to see my horse. Why? Because we had had such a perfect weekend together. I had enjoyed her more than I had any time before. I took  her on trail rides and she hadn’t stopped to grab grass; she had loped away from the barn; she didn’t spook at all the scary  junk cars and old farm equipment in the long grass. I had ridden her bareback and she had responded beautifully to every touch of my leg and shift in my weight. She was responsive and our communication was clear and harmonious. What a pleasure. I cant wait to see her again.

Isn’t that like our relationships? When you have had a weekend of arguing or conflict, how badly do you want to spend time with your mate on your next day off? I think you’ll be making other plans. But if you feel validated by your lover, you feel heard and respected by your conversations – you can’t wait to spend more time together.

You can always choose between being right and being happy in a discussion. What is more important to you? Do you want your mate to be enthusiastic about spending time with you again or will you be making it a chore? It doesn’t mean that you have to agree with your partner at all times, it only means that you are not willing to be drawn into conflict. Let your mate know that you hear them and respect them; you may choose to disagree but will not engage in negative feelings. You choose peace.